Last week was emotionally hard for me. I had a strong disagreement with a person, who’s opinion means a lot to me. It seemed that there is no way out and it made me ill. I hade a feeling I am losing a very dear friend over stupidity. Except that it was not stupidity, but very important part of my believe.
What to do?
As always I asked the question: why? Why it is so important to me and why am I feeling sick? And as always those questions lead to the past. I remembered my personal struggle many years ago, several very unpleasant situations and my actions, who lead me to be a person, who I am today. It was very hard decision, because I never shared those experiences with somebody (except my husband), but I decided to open up to my friend – introduce the elephant in the room and explain myself.
Magic happened – my friend understood my motives and message, we stopped arguing. When relief and joy came down, I realised what happened. Some kind of summary line between then and now, things I have learned and the self-building journey I have made. I learned a lesson, paid the price and moved on. OK, it was a little bit different: stopped to blame circumstances (because it did not help), understood which exactly lesson I had to learn to be able to move on, learned it, stopped paying the price, which I paid during avoiding to understand the lesson and moved on.
It is good, time to time open up, show the scars and person behind them.